It was Cancer
- KelleyEdwards
- May 4
- 5 min read
Updated: May 4
In November 2022 on a family trip to Disney World, to celebrate my big kid of a father turning 60 and my little kid brother getting married; it began.
Every morning that week I was woken up with a stabbing pain in the center of my abdomen and a rush of heat that made me instantly naseous. Have you ever been so hungry or thirsty that you were in physical pain? That was the feeling I was experiencing with the intensity turned up to 10. When I tried to give my body what I thought it was asking for: water, I ended up in more pain and the dry heaving and vomiting would begin.
I would play this game with my gut every morning for 3.5 years. The pain would wake me up between 1-3am and last several hours, usually until I could force myself to have coffee and get to work. On the way to classes, and even sometimes during the practices, I would still have the pain, I would still have the nausea; but I forced myself to be okay.
Finally, in April 2026, with the removal of my Appendix, the pain and my “morning routine” stopped.
The appendectomy happened almost as a fluke. I initially went to the doctor for pain in my pelvis, a menstrual symptom that had gotten worse over the last year. Menstrual pain is not new to me, from my very first period in high school they have been horrendous. I was often in the ER on morphine because my pain was so bad. About 7 years ago I was told I have Endometriosis, which is when the lining that builds up and bleeds in your uterus grows elsewhere in your body, enducing a body-wide inflammatory response and severe pain.
Tests and scans were done at the beginning of this year to find a softball-sized cyst on my right ovary, all of which would have to be removed and oddly enough, my appendix was “doing something interesting” and was quite enlarged. A few more scans and a colonoscopy later and it was decided the appendix would go with my ovary. Two surgeons, one Kelley.
In the years between 2022-2026, due to my stomach pain, I met with several doctors and had a multitude of tests done. There were conversations about my pancreas, spleen or gallbladder being the culprit. Some doctors listened to me, others cut me off and didn’t hear me, most stigmatized me.
Why are so many women told that ‘pain is normal’ and ‘pain is a part of being a woman’? I feel another blog post coming!
Gastritis and my stomach making too much acid seemed like a promising diagnosis! One that never sat well with me was anxiety and depression. I went on the medication anyway, but to feel like my physical pain was dissolved down to “it’s all in your head,” did not make me happy.
And it turns out, it was cancer.
Family history would have me guess the cancer was in my ovary, but I had a rare cancer in my appendix. Rob and I were completely stunned; all bloodwork leading up to surgery was coming back in the proper markers for not having cancer. Although I was a bit shell-shocked, I heard Dr. Eftaiha say that they got it all, the appendix was removed beautifully and there would not be any need for Chemo or Radiation. I will, however, have an Oncologist that I work with and see regularly for the next 10 years, as a preventative measure.
To be told you had, but no longer have, cancer is a mindtrip. Of course, it is the dream scenario if you are being told you have cancer....but to know I was THAT sick for so long, scares me. If my appendix burst or was even punctured a little bit, the cancer would have spread.
I am eternally grateful for how well this has turned out for me, even with being dealt some shitty cards. I will always remember how, ultimately, lucky I was.
It has also been extremely frustrating and exhausting. I have built my studio and community while being the sickest I have ever been in my life. I have had to learn about myself through very painful experiences. I have had to keep speaking up for myself even when being called ‘stubborn’ and ‘defiant.’
And thank Goddess I did because I had cancer.
This whole journey has completely changed me. What felt important to me before surgery is different now, afterwards. I will not go back to the way I worked, the way I pushed myself nor the way I rushed through everything. You will see a change in the way I show up at the studio, in the way I move, in the way I teach and how I want you guys to move through life, as well.
I never take anything in my life for granted, even what we would label the negative experiences. I am a student of life, a student of Earth School, and I believe we are all here to learn as we live. Everything happens for a reason, truly. I am still in awe of how all this blossomed in front of me. There is an intelligence humming beneath us that guides us. My journey unfolded in front of me, exactly as it should have. I trust in that sentiment completely.
And when I said before that I have had to learn a lot about myself through painful experiences...I have learned I am a Warrior.
I have learned I am stronger than I ever imagined.
I have learned I have a connection to my inner Self that is beyond what others experience.
I have learned that when life tries to bring me down, my response will always be
“bring it on.”
It is no surprise to me this all wanted to come out around the Scorpio Full Moon (occured on May 1st, when I sat down to start writing). Scorpio can represent the
Caterpillar ⟶ Cocoon ⟶ Butterfly
storyline and I have certainly felt myself going through the details of the caterpillar and cocoon phases. I am still very much in the mushy-gushy phase of rebuilding myself and I am learning to love myself in this cocoon state. A lot still feels like it needs to be dissolved down and restructured. Even though I don’t know exactly how this all turns out for me, the blueprint of what’s next is starting to come into focus and at the very least, I know I will not be a caterpillar again.
I have had to remind myself a lot that each phase is just as important as the next; one is not more beautiful than the rest and each part is a piece of the bigger picture.
And one more Lou photo because he is just the sweetest!!
Wow Kelley, You indeed are a Warrior. I always thought that but that was at least 10-15 years ago . Now after hearing all you have been through, I applaude your tenacity and your positive attitude. God is indeed good and yes there is a reason for all the trials and ribulations we go through. I love you !